Sunday, September 14, 2008

What Will Happen to Dick Cheney after he leaves the White House

This is my amazing, 100% true prediction of what will happen to Dick Cheney when he leaves the white house.
Upon leaving the White House, Dick Cheney decided to go hunting up in the Arctic wilderness. On his first day out, he saw a small black bear, which he proceeded to shoot. He felt something tapping on his shoulder and he turned to see a large brown bear glaring at him.
"You know, Dick, that wasn't very nice," the brown bear said. "And to punish you, I'm going to have rough sex with you."
After the bear was done, Cheney staggered back to his cabin and rested up for a month. Then he went back out, found the brown bear who had ravaged him, and shot it. A moment later, he felt something tapping him on the shoulder. He turned to see a huge grizzly bear glaring at him.
"You know, Dick, that wasn't very nice," the grizzly bear said. "And for that, I'm going to have brutal sex with you."
When the bear was through, Cheney crawled back to his cabin, where he recuperated for six months. He then went back out into the woods to find the grizzly bear and proceeded to shoot it. A moment later there was a tapping on his shoulder, and he turned to see a gargantuan polar bear staring at him.
"Admit it, Dick," the polar bear said. "You don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

Monday, September 1, 2008

Badger


This is from an email I sent to my son who just went to college.

Hi Dude,
Dad and I saw a badger crossing the highway on the way home! I've never seen a badger before outside a zoo and didn't even know they lived in Colorado. As an animal totem, the Badger signifies abandoning compromise and fighting valiantly for what you believe in. You will know or come to know what this means for you. For me it means ceasing allowing others' beliefs to define what I do and so I have paid the $35 fee to publish my second book when its done. Just because my books never make much money doesn't mean they are invalid. I am learning to spend what money I do have more wisely. You seem to have a natural knack for being frugal--it is a good skill!
Badgers are tough and scrappy and we both need to be this way at least mentally and emotionally and not allow feelings of self doubt to defeat us. But badgers also like to play. I tend to be way too "all business" with myself. The key is balance.
I hope you have a wonderful first day and that all that follow are positive growth experiences for you too.
Love,
Mom